i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
