My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
