At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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