she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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