So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize