How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
