Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
