I feel like abortions should bother me more
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
