Just fell off a train. Bad.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
