I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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