she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She has the best kind of daddy issues
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
