If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
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