make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
