Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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