Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Little spoons don't ask big questions
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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