she was so not down for the gang bang
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
