She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
