Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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