yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
