she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I could fuck to npr.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
