Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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