I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
