My room smells like vodka and shame
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
