is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
