and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Moan for me like Helen Keller
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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