I must be too annoying 4 u.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I cut my penus on the lid.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
