i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
