beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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