Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
