my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
So many bounce houses so little time
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
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