She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
