Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
