Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize