Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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