SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
