so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
