I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
