Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
