Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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