I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Let's get the cat blown out
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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