I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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