so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
