Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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