We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
