They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
