I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
