It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
