Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
