Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
