There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
