His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize