she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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