The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Can I color on your dick again?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
