And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
