I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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