I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
