oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize