so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
