that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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